one last glimpse

Today we had our last ultrasound to see how big Addie Grey is measuring. It's amazing how much she has grown in 15 weeks. She was moving all over the place, so I was having a hard time knowing what I was looking at. But this.....

was pretty clear! Look at that sweet smile!!! Just looking at it makes me want to kiss those cheeks. She is measuring around 5 pounds 8 ounces right now, and the tech said she has a head full of hair. She showed us where it was floating out behind her head. It was crazy. Maybe it explains all my heart burn my entire pregnancy. She kept her hands up by her mouth and she opened her mouth wide several times. I had the tech check ONE more time that she is a SHE. I had a dream a couple of weeks ago that she is born, she's a boy and I haven't been able to shake the "what if" feeling since. The ultrasound tech still says girl, and there were a couple of times I thought I saw something popping up between her legs, but she said it wasn't what I thought it was. So, I guess it was the cord. I'll feel better when I'm holding her and can really look for myself! Ha! Not that I wouldn't love him. But, good grief, I've got a closet full of monogrammed things for little miss! :-) Hard to believe I'll officially be "full term" on Friday and need to start sitting on go. Not that I think she will come early. I have a feeling I'll face induction again sometime in my 39th week. I'm thankful for this precious picture of her face and I'll treasure it always!

how?

I'm not going to lie. I've spent the last (almost) two weeks asking myself how in the world I'm going to manage everything ahead. Being back at work full time has been tough at this stage of pregnancy. When I was this far along with Tripp, it was just me and Joey. So, obviously, I was able to do lots of resting in the afternoons/evenings when I got home from work. I taught when I was pregnant with Tripp right up until 39 weeks. When I was pregnant with Makinley, I took a year off from teaching. So, by the time I was this far along with her, I wasn't working (well, you know, unless you count chasing an almost 18 month old around work.....which of course it is). But I wasn't in charge of 20 kids that belonged to someone else. I wasn't working full time teaching other's kids and then coming home at night to try to take care of my own. And, let's not forget that I was 26 and 27 years old.....NOT 32. Not saying I'm old...but I can definitely feel a difference in my body this time around and I've said that since the beginning.

I changed grade levels this year. The other teachers have been so incredibly welcoming and supportive. They have accepted me with open arms and given me so much help and support. The problem is that I didn't realize just how immature they still are at the beginning of third grade. The way that our county is set up, there are two separate schools. MCPS goes from PreK-2 and MCES goes from 3-5. So, when they come to us, it's their first time in a new school. As a 4th grade teacher for the last 4 years, the students were pretty well "trained" in how our school operates by the time they got to me. Not so much this time around. These kids are like deer caught in headlights and I find myself repeating the exact same sentence 800 times a day. It's the simple things that they don't know how to do, and I'm having to remind myself of it constantly. We went to the library for the first time yesterday for them to check out AR books within their reading level, and it was seriously almost comical. After just a couple of minutes, I realized not one of them had a book in their hand. They were all just standing their aimlessly staring at the shelves with no clue what to do. I'm just so used to saying, "Go check out an AR book." I know that it won't take long and they will be totally independent in things like this. I just may be out on maternity leave when it happens! Ha!

I'm really nervous about going back to work after my maternity leave. NOT because I don't want to teach anymore. It has nothing to do with my love for my job. I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to manage teaching full time, taking care of 3 children (one of which will be a newborn-infant for the remainder of the school year), take care of my house, and spend any time at all with Joey. I'm so afraid of feeling stretched to my breaking point.

Then I remind myself that God would not be blessing us with Addie Grey if He didn't already have all of this right in the palm of His hand. I know God is going to take care of us. I know He is going to give me the exact portion of what I need to get through each and every day. My job is just to rely on Him. As a human, and as a momma, that is SO hard to do sometimes. I like to feel in control at all times, and I know there are many days ahead where control will totally not be in the cards for me. So, when I find myself asking, "How?" lots of times throughout the day, I have to remind myself, "Stacey, you don't have to know how. Just trust."

a great start

August 8th came in a hurry and it was time for the first day of school. Not that you can tell by these pictures, but both kids got up easily. We started putting them to bed by 8 last Sunday night because they had to get up early Monday and Tuesday for me to go to pre-planning. Having the earlier bedtime definitely helped. Especially with Makinley. Tripp is always easy to wake up in the mornings.

 We also made sure they were awake in enough time to lounge around a watch a cartoon before we started making them get dressed and take pictures. I found these cute "First Day of School" signs on Pinterest and printed them out.

 But for some reason, Makinley didn't want to just hold hers. She wanted it to be on a stick like a "real sign". So, it took a little bit to get her to finally smile for a picture.

In years past, I've always put her in a dress for the first day of school. This year, I let her pick out what she wanted to wear, and she picked this shorts set. It's cute, but wouldn't have been my first choice. She is definitely starting to show independence in what she will/will not wear. For her, smocked dresses are becoming a thing of the past. Good thing I get to do it all over again! I've got several pictures of them as they went into their classrooms, but they are on my cell phone, so I need to upload them. But, they had a GREAT first three days. They both said it was "awesome" and "the best day ever". They were just as easy to get up and get ready on Thursday and Friday. Although, on Friday morning, Makinley did tell me, "Mommy, I really do LOVE Pre-K. But, I think I may need a break because I am SO tired." I assured her she was about to get one.....called Saturday and Sunday! :-) In fact, it's 8:13 and she's still asleep. Planning on letting her sleep until she wakes up this morning. One battle we are going to have to "fight" is the nap battle at school. I've blogged about it many times before, but Makinley canNOT nap anymore during the day. When she does, it totally screws us up at night because she can't go to sleep. Obviously, nap time is a part of the Pre-K schedule, and if Makinley is allowed to lay down, she falls asleep. So, she napped all three days at school, and it was obvious at night. I'm going to have to talk to her teacher and see if there is something else she can do during that time that is quiet and be allowed to stay up. 10:00 and later bedtimes on a school night aren't going to cut it around here! My first 3 days were just as smooth as the kids. So, the 2012-2013 school year has begun!

drawing to a close

Well, summer around here is drawing to a close. I'll go back to work next Monday, and the kids start school next Wednesday. This summer has gone by so quickly. As I'm planning for the week ahead, I'm stuck between being exhausted by trying to keep a 4 1/2 year old and 6 year old entertained day in and day out, and sad that my time at home with it just being them is almost over. I've tried so hard to enjoy every second at home with them, but there have been days when they've made it a little difficult. They are just at the age where they fight all.the.time. It seems like every night around 7 is when they finally figure out that they really do love each and begin to play peacefully together. You know, right when it's almost bedtime and I've pretty much lost my religion numerous times throughout the day. It's so frustrating. When they're great....they're wonderful. But, when they're bad....holy cow. I have done my absolute best to keep them as busy as possible all summer long; however, that's not easy to do either. I'm SO thankful that we have kids in our neighborhood close in age to mine because they have spent countless (and I mean countless) hours playing together. They just shuffle houses all day.

Nights around here are still really tough with Makinley. I am really, really praying that when school starts back and she's back in a routine that things will straighten out. If not, I really don't know what I'm going to do when Addie Grey gets here. It is not going to be fun.

Speaking of Addie Grey, we had our hospital tour on Saturday. Because we lived in Henry Country when we had Tripp and Makinley, I wanted to go on a tour of the hospital where Addie Grey will be delivered. Plus, every time I mention that I'll have to go to the hospital, Makinley gets very apprehensive. It makes sense because she's never stepped foot in a hospital before, so I thought it would be good for her and Tripp to go and see where I would be. I thought it would take the edge off her anxiety. Well, I should have known that my daughter would not cooperate. The class for the tour was packed with expecting mothers and fathers....and she showed out. Whining, pulling on me, wanting to be held the entire time, talking at the top of her lungs, complaining that her tummy hurt.....the list goes on. Joey said it's because she's spoiled, which I am sure played a big part in it. But, I also think it was another sign of her feeling threatened by all that's to come. I really, really don't know how she's going to transition into this whole "big sister" role. I know she will love Addie Grey, but she is going to have an unbelievably hard time sharing her mommy's attention. I didn't know that an almost five year old could be as attached to their momma as mine is to me. Yes, I love our bond, but it is also exhausting. Joey had to take her away from the tour for a bit and have a serious "talking to" with her. All the while, Tripp is just walking peacefully beside me, holding my hand, taking it all in. Have I mentioned how EASY he is? Thank God for it. She finally got her act together when they wheeled a baby into the nursery and she was able to watch the nurses take care of him or her. That mesmerized her. So, Joey kept the kids at the nursery window and I finished the tour by myself. So much for the family hour I had planned.

Also, in the last couple of days, a baby named "Caroline" has magically appeared inside Makinley's tummy. She does lots of kicking and punching and Makinley can feel her. She can also tell you where each of her body parts are inside her tummy. Never a dull moment.

Super excited about the kids teachers this year for school. Tripp's class is "stacked" this year with really good kids and he has about 7 kids in his class that he already knows. I'm thrilled for him because first grade is a big year (FIRST GRADE!!! HOW did that happen!?!?) Makinley's teacher is wonderful also. I just hope she's ready for Makinley. I'm scared to think of the potential parent-teacher conferences that could be in my future.

I'm also getting to the point of being torn between wanting Addie Grey to stay tucked in tight to wanting her here with us. I want her to stay put because I'm not sure we're ready yet mentally and emotionally for all that's to come. But physically, I'm getting pretty miserable and I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. I KNOW I will miss it. I KNOW that. But, it's so hard to do what needs to be done on a daily basis for Tripp and Makinley with this big ole' tummy in my way. Plus, it's starting to get pretty dang painful when she's moving all over the place.

So, that's kind of where my heads at right now. I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed and emotional most days. Between trying to mother the two that are here with me, grow the one that's inside me, and prepare to change grade levels for the upcoming school year- my plate seems overly full. But, I'm doing lots of praying throughout the day, and trusting that "this too shall pass" and become a distant memory.

our defense is dazzling

Makinley spent each morning last week participating in cheer camp sponsored by the high school cheerleaders. She did the camp last summer too, but this year was the first year she was "technically" old enough to go. Her birthday falling 2 weeks past the cut off gets in our way sometimes! She had a great time, but it was a little obvious just how much "older" she was than the rest of the girls in her rising Pre-K group. For one, she was about a head taller and probably 15 pounds heavier than most of them. In fact, she probably had 20 pounds on some. Let's face it, my 4 feet, 53 pound girl is no little thing.

 Last summer, because she was pretty much the youngest one at camp, she got lots and lots of attention from the cheerleaders that were leading her group. Because there were girls much younger than her this year, she was one of the "big kids" in her group, so there wasn't any toting Makinley around or her sitting in their lap. I'm proud of her for doing what she was supposed to (Heaven knows THAT doesn't always happen), but I did hurt for her a little bit when she came home one day and said, "Mommy, I don't have a cheerleader. All the other girls in my group have a cheerleader, but I don't." She had just picked up on the fact that she wasn't getting as much one on one attention as some of the other girls. It was fine and we talked about how she was a leader and she had to show others what to do.

 Her favorite part of the week was learning a dance to Luke Bryan's "Country Girl Shake it for Me" and it was SO cute. She knew every move and she was FRONT and CENTER. Literally. Letting everyone see her do her thing.

 She was also most proud of being able to kick her leg! She's not quite as flexible as a lot of the girls, but she sure tried! I think her size keeps her from being able to do it as well. I'm signing her up for gymnastics this year (we are going to take a year off from dance) so I think that will help her. She kicked every chance she could during the performance. At one point, Tripp said, "Why does my sister keep doing that?!"

 No doubt in my mind that if she does become a cheerleader one day, she will be a base! Ha! Don't think we'll see this one flying through the air! 

It was a great week and all the little girls loved it. The cheers are so cute and the two dances she did made me smile so big my cheeks hurt. There is nothing I love more than watching my children do things they love. The little girls will cheer before a football game at the high school this fall. In fact, the date of the game they are set to cheer at is 7 days past my due date. So, looks like Addie Grey will be broken into the world of football at a VERY young age because there is NO WAY this momma is going to miss that!

month eight

How far along: 32 weeks (8 months)

Size of baby: 3.75 pounds and 16.7 inches! 

Total weight gain/loss: Remember when I said I would probably stop posting my weight gain...I think the time has come. This past appointment was kind, but the one before that? Not so much! Actually, I'm probably up about 20 pounds right now. Boo.

Maternity Clothes: Getting to the point where even maternity clothes don't fit. But I refuse to spend even a penny on clothes, so I'm making do with what I've got. I spend lots of time walking around the house in one of my daddy's t-shirts! :-)

Gender: Girl!!!!

Baby Name: Addison Grey ("Addie Grey") Joey's grandma's name was Addie and my grandma's middle name was Grey. So, we are putting the two names together to honor both grandmas.

Movement: Whoa. There are times I think she is trying to push her way out of the side of my stomach. She is STRONG. And she moves pretty much all the time. I can tell the times that she's sleeping and just barely moving and the times when she is wide awake and going crazy.

Sleep: Well, basically, I look forward to and dread bedtime at the same time. I look forward to it because it's a break from being "mommy" for the day. I dread it because I know I'm not going to get any rest.

What I miss: Being able to move comfortably. And turn over in the bed. But, I'm really trying to enjoy each second because it will be over soon.

Cravings: Still need chocolate milk on a daily basis. And prime rib is a pretty good thing too. I think the funniest thing my whole pregnancy is how much I do NOT want sweets. At all. It has probably helped in the weight gain department. (This is pretty much the same as last month!)

Symptoms: Just the typical ones for this stage of pregnancy. Nothing crazy.

Best moment this month: Spending time together as a family at the beach. Hard to believe that Addie Grey will be with us next year....eating sand and trying to keep up with her big brother and sister.  Also, lots of sweet moments of Makinley loving on my tummy and telling her "sissy" how much she loves her. Hope she still feels that way when she's actually here! :-)

nursery reveal

It's hard to believe we are entering into the final stretch of this pregnancy. It really has gone by so fast, but I'm getting anxious to have Addie Grey in my arms. However, one major item has been checked off our "to do" list in preparation and that's having her nursery complete! I never know if what I have envisioned is going to come out the way that I want it to, but it definitely did this time. I think her room is peaceful, beautiful and feminine....but in no way over the top "girly". Because of where her room is located in our house, I really didn't want it to scream "BABY GIRL"! Now, all we need is HER!

We added french doors and a transom to close this room off. It used to be our office and then our playroom, so it's the first room when you enter our house. We tried to make it as private as possible!

The view as you first walk in.

Her crib and canvas. When she gets here, we will have newborn pictures taken and I will frame two and put them on either side of the canvas.

A Pinterest project! Joey and I spray painted planters and used them as bookshelves.

 I love her curtains! I think they really add to her room.

Her changing table with our maternity pictures.

The view from the other corner of the room. I LOVE my new glider. Not only does it glide back and forth, it also completely reclines. I see lots of sleeping happening in this chair in the first few weeks!

I picked three verses for her room and had a very talented friend paint canvases. I LOVE this one. I can't wait to see what plans God has in store for our sweet girl.

I love the reminder that long before we ever knew there would be an "Addie Grey", God knew. He has planned her for our family all along and she belongs to Him before she belongs to us.

Looking back out into the rest of our house....as Makinley climbs into the crib! :-)